The GOOD, The BAD, and the MOVIES
I’m not typically the one to write reviews on anything, and it’s not that I don’t have the desire, it’s just that I like to leave that up to the more skilled and qualified, like my buddy, Doug. So, when I decided to take the reigns this time and do a little blurb on the movie season thus far, I thought it best to warn you ahead of time: this may not be particularly outstanding. It will, however, be the truth. Because I wrote it and I said so. Enjoy!
I will start with the most recent film first, as opposed to the first film first… wait, what? Anyway, we saw Spiderman 3 this weekend and I have to say right up front: it was dismal. Now don’t start spitting anger at your screen just yet, it wasn’t all a mish-mashed convoluted nightmare, just most of it. Also, I happen to love Spiderman and I agree with everyone who says that Part 2 was perhaps the greatest superhero adaptation of our generation. And so help me I sure as hell wanted this sequel to be exactly the same thing. It was, however, not. It suffers, as so many of us had feared, from the Bat-Man disease. Those of you who have seen this particular franchise know exactly what I’m refering to: far too many villains, far too many story lines, and far too many people unnecessarily and rediculously dying off. There could have easily been somewhere in the neighborhood of three particularly great (at the very least, better) movies created from this one uninspiring nightmare. They slap us with the stories of: Peter Parker and Mary Jane’s endless bickering and relationship woes, the goofy far-to-contrived birth of Sand-Man, Spidey/Peter’s battle with Harry Osborne, and the far-to-rushed symbiotic relationship with the eventual Eddie Brock/Venom. I mean it was exhausting just trying to keep everything seperate and yet try to tie it all together properly. But it was hastilly done and rushed to completion. Not good at all. I sincerely hope that whomever tackels the fourth installment will approach it from a fresh angle… and let’s face it, after Part 3’s stellar, if unwarranted, 150 million dollar opening weekend, there will certainly be a fourth. Somebody please hear my words and let’s do it right, again, next time.
As for a few more films that have been out this spring thus far, we have the epic beauty called 300. This masterpiece stars everyone’s favorite Phantom mush-mouth, Gerard Butler who, though consuming the scenery like a all-you-can-eat buffet, knocks out an amazing performance as King Leonidas of the Spartans. Just watching the legion of the men trying with their very lives as they attempt to hold off the onslaught of marauding Persians was breathtaking and worth every second of film time. Outstanding. If you live for action (fifty-times more than SpiderHam easily) do yourself a favor and see this movie many, many times.
Say, do you like the occasional chortle and guffaw? Sure, who damn well doesn’t? Well then, rush out and see yourself some Hot Fuzz. This was so hard to sit through because I was writhing around with throes of unstoppable laughter! It was magnificant. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are comedy gold, and it really isn’t even necessary to see Shaun of the Dead first, though I would still highly reccommend that you do since jokes and folks carry over, if you dig it. Basically a buddy cop flick at heart, this hillarious beast throws in little nods to any and all films of it’s mocked genre. So many outrageous things happen so often it would behoove you to see this one more than once, as well. Good times.
And finally, Grindhouse. What could possibly be said about this movie…
…ROSE MCGOWAN PRETTY!!
Thank you Doug, that really says it all. Watch it, just for the phony previews in the beginning and middle alone. Quality.
Okay, that wraps it up for the Movie review Edition. Get out there and support your local pop-corn munching establishment and enjoy a good flick. Just not Spiderman… sorry.